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Winter League 2002

A 'few' Words from the Commish

by AJ Tiarsmith

Without a doubt, the surprise of the young winter Goaltimate season has been The Peeps, led by Andy Grimes.  Grimes, growing ever more frustrated by season after season of sub-par performance, brought in an outside expert to draft his team.  So far, the strategy has paid off, as the Peeps, who were not picked to be winter champions by a single voter in the goalty prediction poll, have jumped out to a 4-0 start, good enough to be in sole possession of first place. However, not everyone is convinced that The Peeps are for real.  A recent Goalty Ranking Committee Poll had The Peeps as the third strongest team in winter league, behind Natalie Jansen’s team and David Bixler’s team.  Perhaps, the lack of confidence in The Peeps has come from their apparent lack of confidence in themselves, as star Peep Andy Nix put it, “Andy G's team is by far the weakest team talent-wise.”

Natalie Jansen’s team features the talents of Steve Nestor and Tenbroeck Smith, along with enough dead horses to keep the AFDC in glue for the better part of a decade.  Jansen’s squad is 2-2 on the season.  Despite their .500 record, there is still a lot of faith in Jansen’s squad among veteran goalty watchers, as Natalie’s team garnered all four first place votes in this week’s Goaltimate Ranking Committee Poll.

The big-hearted, over-achieving Gangrene squad, led by Dan Heacox is in sole possession of second place. Gangrene has the distinction of being the shortest team in the history of the AFDC, with the average team height being just over 5 foot 3.  The new rules have helped Gangrene by moving the other teams’ behemoths out of the goal.  As Eric Ewald put it, “The new rules make the game faster paced, more exciting, with more opportunities for shorter players.”  Or, in the reported words of Irene Wong, “players over six feet tall are the devil.”  I have been unable to contact Ms. Wong for further comment.

David Bixler is third in the overall standings.  As Bixler analyzed hours of Goaltimate film prior to the goalty season trying to figure out who to put on his team, he came to one inescapable conclusion: his team must be built around Susan Goode.  Unfortunately for Bixler, this meant he must also sign up the oft-injured Dave Goode.  Bixler decided to take the gamble.  As most analysts predicted, Dave Goode pulled his hamstring in the first week of the season.  But those of us who remember Grip, the 2001 Summer League Goalty Champs, know that Bixler has carried Goode in the past, and apparently the Goaltimate Ranking Committee believes that Bixler can continue to carry Goode in the future, as Bix is ranked second in the Committee’s latest poll.

Many observers will be surprised to find Anna George’s team stuck in the middle of the pack, as they were picked to win this goalty league by almost 1/3 of the voters in the pre-season prediction poll.  Perhaps no one is more surprised by Anna’s team’s lack of production than Anna’s team themselves.  Prior to the season, Michael “Evil” Wood remarked, “I'm finally going to prove it doesn't take AJ to win a finals. I keep carrying his ass, and everyone thinks he's doing it.” Apparently Evil is finding it more difficult to carry the asses of Marc Seto, Chris Goodson and Anna.

Oxni, led by Darrell Drogula is in a dead lock with Jansen and George for fourth place after four weeks of play.  Darrell’s team features Tom Street, Steve Stratton and Eileen Murray, along with Gill Austin, best known for not shaving his head after losing a rosh to Dan Heacox.  Andy Nix argues, “I believe if you're better than Gill Austin, you should be ranked higher than him, regardless of your sexual preference.”  Nix’s spirit of tolerance is an example to us all.  Despite their 2-2 record, Darrell’s team has been unable to get much respect from the Goalty Ranking Committee voters, and are ranked tenth according to the latest poll.

Amy “Mad Dog” Madigan fearlessly leads the All-Draft squad.  Much to the chagrin of Heacox and Drogula, the draft squad is ranked fourth in the latest rankings, despite having only one win. According to one unnamed committee member, “if their whole team shows up, they’re unstoppable.”  I must admit that the team’s roster, featuring the likes of Greg Murray, Paul “Pipes” Brunson, Jake Altemus, and Mary O’Neill, is truly formidable.

Jenny Lee’s Blue Cheese squad leads a host of teams locked in a three-way tie for seventh or last place.  Blue Cheese features Mark Moore, Ali Yasser, Flo Pfender, and Ned Coker, who said, “who will stop Flo's hammer? No one... NO ONE!!!!!!!!!!!.”  Apparently, the Goalty Ranking Committee disagrees with Ned’s assessment, as Blue Cheese is ranked ninth in the latest poll. However, AFDC historians know better than to count a team named Blue Cheese out.

Brigette came into the season planning to build her squad around legendary goalie Stu Downs. The new rules made goal-tending illegal, and forced Brigette’s team to start running around a little more.  The new rules have not treated Brigette’s team well, as they’ve fallen to 1-3.  But, Brigette’s squad still has the most successful tournament player in the history of AFDC Goaltimate in Annie Perry, so they can’t be counted out come tourney time.

Ricky McClellen’s team has been the biggest disappointment of the season, with their only win coming against Anna’s team.  And even that was solely the result of Dave Bray’s complete annihilation of Michael Wood in a rosh.  In any event, the experts still haven’t completely given up hope on Ricky’s team, as are ranked ahead of three teams despite their lack of success.

 

 

           

 
Feb '02 Articles
Romey's Ramblins
Winter League
Spring League
Public Relations
Holly's Vision
Goaltimate
Ozone
Gridlock
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"Without a doubt the surprise of the young winter Goaltimate season has been The Peeps led by Andy Grimes."
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"Natalie’s team garnered all 4 first place votes in this week’s Goaltimate Ranking Committee Poll."
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"Brigette came into the season planning to build her squad around legendary goalie Stu Downs. The new rules made goal-tending illegal"
 
"Gangrene led by Dan has the distinction of being the shortest team in the history of the AFDC."
 
 
"Bix came to one inescapable conclusion: his team must be built around Susan Goode."
 
"Oxni includes Gill Austin about which Andy Nix writes, "I believe if you're better than Gill Austin you should be ranked higher than Gill Austin, regardless of your sexual preference."
 
"Of Mad Dog's team it was said "...if their whole team shows up they’re unstoppable.”
 
"Ned remarked about Jenny's team member Flo "Who will stop Flo's hammer? No one... NO ONE!!!"
 
"Ricky’s team has been the biggest disappointment of the season"